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    • #53. So You’re Single…

    This post was whipped up on 12/18/2011

     I’ve been single now for eight long months. “Long” in the good way. Hopefully this post will stay focused on the topic at hand and not branch off into the many other directions I can see it heading   in. To you, my beloved reader, eight months either sounds like an eternity or a blink of an eye. For me it started off feeling like a lifetime and now just feels… natural.

       Speaking as a (former) serial relationship-haver… the first few weeks (sometimes months) following a breakup can make you feel crazy. Whether you’re the dumped or the dumper the bottom line is now you’re single but all you will immediately zone in on is how totally and completely alone you are. Depressing right? Not always.

      Wait, wait, wait…

      This isn’t about dealing with a break up.

      You can dig through my later posts for all that fun stuff. There may or may not be a good solid five posts about dealing with that shit.

      This is about HOW AWESOME IT CAN BE AS A SINGLE PERSON OUT IN THE WORLD TODAY!

    If you can bravely accept your new single lifestyle and resist the urge to promptly run out and rebound, or worse yet thrust yourself into a new relationship out of fear, then you my friend are on the path to something magical.

    MAGICAL.

    —

    You may fear single life because you fear being alone.

    We are taught from an early age that being around others not only means you are desirable, worthwhile, and popular… but those who choose more of a loner or isolated lifestyle are less desirable, worthwhile, and popular. That’s fucked up. 

    Let me tell you something…

    When you are single and confident living life independently the possibilities for how awesome your life can be are endless.

    You can live in a treehouse if you want to.

    You can stay up all night eating Cheetos and drinking TAB if you want to.

    You can wear your underwear all day long or on your head.

    You don’t have to ask someone if they are hungry because you are hungry and you’re trying to be polite.

    You can just eat.

    You can buy yourself things.

    You can wake up in the middle of the night and decide to cut yourself some bangs and not even give a shit if it looks good or not because you don’t have to please anybody but your damn self and you know what? YOU THINK IT LOOKS GREAT. It’s sexy. Cut them bangs baby!

    (Snip snip)

    You can buy yourself flowers EVEN if there’s a penis between your legs.

    You can go to concerts of your favorite musicians!

    You can meet new people.

    You can FLIRT.

    …

    You don’t have to be afraid to be single.

    Ignore the stigma attached to the single life.

    ENJOY YOUR OWN COMPANY.

    You are awesome.

    If you’re not awesome then stop wasting your life and become awesome.

    Be the type of person that other people want to be around.

    Be the kind of single, carefree, open-minded, FUN individual that other people want to tame.

    Make them look at you not with disdain and pity, but with admiration and the hopes of one day obtaining you.

    Make em lust.

    Keep them at bay though, because this single life is WHERE IT’S AT!

    Believe that.

    • Pat w

      I totally agree with this blog now if everyone who is asking me why are you still single and not dating anyone ? Could read this it would help a lot I love reading your blogs Thanks Bye for now Pat

      • http://NotSoNiceAdvice.com NotSoNiceAdvice

        Thank you! <3

    • bob gratz aka badger

      i am singel also and have been for 3 years and i have been very happy. At this point and time in my life yes it would be nice to have someone in my life but if not i am ok with that. I do have lots of friends and we go out all the time.

    • http://5oul5tyc3.tumblr.com/ soul

      Single 1 year, 4 months, 26 days. Sure I was depressed for a minute. But then I decided to be awesome instead. True story. It took awhile to proceed with the presumption that pondering prolonged positive projections are pretty powerful prognosticators prophesied to precipitate the penchant towards the palpable perception of prolific perspicacious predispositions, in a sense tilt-shifting or panning personal perspectives, but that we’re often predominately perplexed by the paradoxes prominently and pervasively predicted to perpetrate persistent perpetual pessimistic paradigms primarily among penetrable peoples placating with pretend placebos, preaching and pontificating principals of prejudice upon the population.and popping the proprium pill pronto. It perturbs me that they pridefully populate and phlebotomize our poor planet presently. I pity the fools and proceed to practice philanthropy plentifully, plinko’ing down the path towards proverbial premium profitable payment. Pla’Dow!

      • http://NotSoNiceAdvice.com NotSoNiceAdvice

        I can’t believe I didn’t reply to this comment. I remember reading it late as hell in bed out loud and laughing at how tongue tied I became. :)

        • http://5oul5tyc3.tumblr.com/ soul

          wow i’m pretty positive i was kinda wasted. not gonna lie. not even sure where i was going with that… just going… going…

          oh yeah! i was all hung up on the general populations perception of authority around-about that time. perception of authority in general, and also particularly pertaining to christmas’s inevitable arrival.

          i was all like, “who says it’s gotta be christmas time? huh? who says? what’s so special about this particular day? who says i gotta believe in any of this? who has the authority to decide this for me and fuck with my weekend like this? and why’s the damn grocery store gotta be closed christmas day huh? what if i run outta toilet paper huh? then what do i do? stupid authorities and their stupid christmas are fucking my shit right up, damnit. what if i wanna go get a waffle at ihop huh? nope. tough shit, it’s christmas. stupid christmas. fuck this i’m rolling a joint.”

          then i read your blog post and i was like, “fuck yeah! i can do anything i want! i respect MY OWN authority!” and then immediately thereafter that ‘p’ comment just kinda happened.

          then you laughed. that was the best part.

    • 6 feet of Bills Shirt

      Soul… I need to look up TWO words from that. Pretty happy about my practical perception of the previous perfunctory pontification. :-)

    • lonelyinnaples83

      I’ve been single for all but one year of my life. That relationship wasn’t even a real relationship in the end because I was making it out to be something it wasn’t. So in reality I’ve pretty much always been single. I know what it is like to be single and yes most of the time I am fine with it. Sure I get lonely from time to time. I really only find it hard to cope when I meet new people and they ask me about my personal life. They seem to expect me to have a relationship simply because I am at the age where most people are settling down. Their reactions make me feel like I’m doing something wrong simply because I haven’t found the right person yet. Eventually I get my head back on straight and realize I’m just being me and anyone who doesn’t like it can suck it. Being single isn’t a bad thing yet our society likes to make it seem that way.